3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he's gonorrhea incarnate
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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