He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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