I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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