you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
even my farts smell like vagina
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
