And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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