Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can't special order awesome
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
