If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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