Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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