I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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