somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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