I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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