fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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