Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is Oprah even human
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
