She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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