he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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