Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
