I like my sex mixed with concussions.
North Korea, Best Korea!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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