After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
