i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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