Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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