nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you never un-have a 4some
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize