You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
