im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
