i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
did i just pee glitter
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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