I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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