that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
