What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
