In the future we'll all be gay
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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