You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
