Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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