why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
