Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
