finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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