She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize