I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
