mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we made out on top of his cat.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
