Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
sex in a hospital.. check
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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