Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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