Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
