So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
