Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
