i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
did i just pee glitter
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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