I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
