Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
