where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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