in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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