Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
