mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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