dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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