Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
