Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize