Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You were trust falling into bushes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
