You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
