Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
