Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
