i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
