Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i don't like sucking hair
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
